Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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