who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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