Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
