I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
