I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize