He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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