so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I don't deserve a penis
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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