she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
