You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
smell my finger.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
