Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
