Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Damn victory sex feels great
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