sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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