im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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