capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
