Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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