I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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