a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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