Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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