Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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