Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Cold hands, warm shart.

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  (248): Cold hands, warm shart. http://tfl.nu/a5c8
  Replies (3) Good night (1118) Bad night (3434)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.

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  (843): I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed. http://tfl.nu/tmoe
  Replies (16) Good night (576) Bad night (1080)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her

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  (405): Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her http://tfl.nu/rds9
  Replies (20) Good night (1069) Bad night (1925)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized

  (914): View more from New York

  No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."

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  (508): Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized (914): No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes." http://tfl.nu/s64m
  Replies (23) Good night (3233) Bad night (783)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.

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  (775): they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it. http://tfl.nu/g3nc
  Replies (19) Good night (5911) Bad night (822)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar

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  (732): Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar http://tfl.nu/9kou
  Replies (39) Good night (6443) Bad night (2893)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.

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  (703): Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/f3x3
  Replies (7) Good night (4292) Bad night (1130)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...

  (1-479): View more from Arkansas

  I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma

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  (479): I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club... (1-479): I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma http://tfl.nu/vhqd
  Replies (23) Good night (972) Bad night (3499)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked

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  (412): We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked http://tfl.nu/s4j7
  Replies (9) Good night (1881) Bad night (3032)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him

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  (215): I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him http://tfl.nu/j1cu
  Replies (4) Good night (1039) Bad night (414)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...

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  (412): You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex... http://tfl.nu/wlmu
  Replies (12) Good night (2819) Bad night (538)
• Favorite

  (417): View more from Missouri

  Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.

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  (417): Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast. http://tfl.nu/el84
  Replies (3) Good night (822) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.

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  (773): blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck. http://tfl.nu/370v
  Replies (5) Good night (712) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse

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  (914): The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse http://tfl.nu/jfot
  Replies (5) Good night (710) Bad night (294)
• Favorite

  (952): View more from Minnesota

  Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.

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  (952): Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate. http://tfl.nu/tke3
  Replies (5) Good night (844) Bad night (305)

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