I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on