I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.