Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Proof That Kendall Jenner Is The Queen of Cannes
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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