I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
