At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
