alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
