Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize