capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
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