this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
