I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
