He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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