They should really pass out barf bags in church
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
