How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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