i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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