I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
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