She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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