Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
