She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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