I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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