**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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