i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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