Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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