This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize