Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
