Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
