we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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