Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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