AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
