I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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