rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
