So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
