I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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