I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Randomize
