Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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