Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
no, he came in my armpit
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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