she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
