Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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