Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
