I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize