Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize