After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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